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Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
is available for rebound sex.
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
Whoever said "Lets do that" in the meeting for the pop-tarts without frosting, should be fired
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
I like to pee on car windows in subzero weather, happy scraping
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It`s people I don`t trust.