Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
FYI: Real hippos at the zoo don’t eat marbles. They should post a sign or something.
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
I never said I was better than everyone else, just better than you.
the real full form of M.B.A....Married But Available
I don`t know if I`ve got some free time, or if I just forgot what the hell I`m supposed to be doing...
Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don`t even call back people I know.
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
and alcohol are now friends.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
Noise cancelling toilets should be a thing.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.