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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
The word "Lovers" bums me out unless it`s between the words "Meat" and "Pizza".
I`m in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...
Attention fuels immaturity
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
If you`re happy and you know it, thank your ex.
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
Sir, your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32
When I`m older, I`m going to buy one of those Volkswagen Bugs. Only because I have a excuse to hit my wife every time we go somewhere.
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
Work is one long game of back and forth emails with cleverly disguised f*ck you`s.
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Hell Yes.
Noise canceling toilets should be a thing.