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The real problem with this generation is that the cartoons suck.
I wonder how many strangers have stories about me.
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
Sports commentators need to stop saying penetrate
Sleeping is so difficult when you have a world awake in your phone.
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
Don`t waste your time being difficult. Put forth a little more effort and be impossible.
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
It`s Saturday morning. My neighbor has mowed his lawn AND weeded his garden. I`ve spent ten minutes trying to reach the remote with my foot.
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.
Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)