Daily Silly Status

The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.

I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.

You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.

I didn’t give you the finger. You earned it.

I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.

I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.

Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.

I’m not stealing my neighbor’s WiFi…their WiFi is trespassing into my house.

Thanks coffee for tricking us into believing that it`s a good morning for a few minutes.

People who walk while looking at their phones and expect me to get out of the way... LOL.

When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to your God that you`re nowhere near a dildo factory.

There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"

Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?

Facebook stalking? BAH! In my day, we used to root through people`s garbage.

There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.