Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The voices in my head tell me not to listen to the voices in my head, and now I don`t know who to listen to anymore
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
I hate when my girlfriend accuses me of something I didn`t think she knew about.
2 out of 3 isn`t bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.
Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
Seven years ago today I swallowed bubblegum ... I`ll keep you all posted.
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin…just in case.
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
My wife just changed here facebook status from "Married" to "widowed", should I be scared?
If your online dating profile says "I don`t have sex on the first date" then that`s why you`re on a dating website.
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.