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I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and the internet.
Whoa! Thank you warning label! I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
I have a coffee table in my house. It`s decaffeinated but you would never know it by looking at it.
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
When we give each other a thumbs up, it`s our way of mocking every other animal on earth.
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you`re better off staying home with no pants on.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
According to my fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week.
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
Getting a text from someone when I`m trying to Facebook is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.