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How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Yeah but why do they call him Bigfoot if both of his feet are the exact same size
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
It makes me sad that so many women feel like they have to wear makeup and clothes.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them.
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending I’m being possessed by the devil is not funny.
Why is it that when you work very hard, you say you are working like a dog? Every dog I`ve ever known is lazy and sleeps 16 hours a day.
If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I`m about as self-helpful as they come.
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
I could really go for a vegetable sandwich! Maybe some tomatoes, some spinach, cucumbers... With cheese. And a hamburger patty. And bacon. Ok I really want a bacon cheeseburger.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.