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Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
It`s like my bank account doesn`t understand me at all.
If listening to stupid people burned calories, I`d be a supermodel.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
Some Facebook friends are like ghost you dont see them but you know their there
I read Facebook for the pictures.
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
Underachieving Sunday through Wednesday, overachieving Thursday through Saturday.
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
If I keep hitting the treadmill like I do every night, in a few weeks maybe I`ll learn to turn on the light when I get up to pee in the dark
Single Awareness Day ..... it`s a S.A.D. day
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!