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I’m starting to think that the gym isn’t really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
is "insert clever remark here."
Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
A cop comes up to a man on the street. Cop: Seen anything unusual? Man: A dolphin with a hat once. Cop: I mean around here. Man: No, they live in water.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
Confucius would have been great at Status Updates......
It`s always so awkward ending phone calls with loved ones, I always say "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing domino`s"
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?
Do you smoke? Smokers: "Yes." Non-Smokers: "Never have, never will." Stoners: "Smoke what?"
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC