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You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.
A pessimist thinks that all women are sluts. An optimist hopes that they are.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
What do you call a black woman with braces?... A Black and Decker P@cker Wrecker!
I live in constant fear that someone will kidnap my mother in law who lives all alone at 48 W Main St, bldg C, Apt 32 on the 3rd floor.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
We all have that one person we forever regret giving our phone number to.
Life is fun! You should get one.
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
I was doing laundry today and accidentally left out a very large fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.