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Is it just me, or do mirrors look really sexy?
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
I hate it when my kid starts crying in the middle of the night and I have to get up to close the bedroom door.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
If you are offended by the opinions I express you can only imagine the ones I keep to myself.
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, never mind, you will know who you are soon enough.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re stupid and make bad decisions.
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
I`m glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.
DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.
If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.