Daily Silly Status

I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.

Life is not a garden so quit being a hoe

I’m the kind of girl that would eat Doritos on her wedding day & accidentally wipe her hands on her dress.

"Memory foam pillow fights". That`s one fight you`ll never forget.

I`m sick to death of these letters from the City of College Station bullying me to mow my grass! If Walmat can prepare for Christmas 3 mths in advance why can`t I do the same for Easter!!!??

if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys

There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.

Meant to tell my kid "Good night, I love you," but it came out as "Thank god you go back to school tomorrow because this is bullsh!t"

Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.

My parents preferred my imaginary friend over me.

One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.

I`ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo

Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?

You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)

If history has taught us anything, it`s that reheated french fries are gross.