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With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you`ll come back.
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt.
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shit in their pouches in the morning.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?
My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.