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Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors house, they`re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
DRINK BEER SAVE WATER..www.godrunk.com
"I wish people would start doing ice bucket challenges again" - said no one ever!
Hurricanes, Fires,Tiger running loose ... Whoever is playing Jumanji needs to wrap it up
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you`ll get what you want.
Relationship status: Are you gonna eat that?
I get in this weird mood where I don’t want to talk to anybody and just want to be left alone. I call this mood ‘Awake’
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
It`s time to take the next big step in my relationship by popping the question to my girlfriend ....will you get me a beer :) (<>..<>)
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.