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I thought we had something. You met my family, made us dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
If you are being attacked by a bunch of clowns the first thing to do is go for the juggler.
I was laying down, looking up at the stars while I was writing this post. Then it dawned on me; `Where the heck is the ceiling?`
People say circumcision dosen`t hurt. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn`t walk for nearly a year.
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
What do you mean this posting of the BBQ ribs you made is not an invite?
How come know-it-alls don`t know how annoying they are?
I`m so sick and tired of my light weight friends who can`t handle their alcohol...Last night , they dropped me 3 times when carrying me out of the bar!
Today`s Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bullsh*t.
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
"We attack at dawn!" - Hangovers
Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction, I hope there’s no hard feelings.
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don`t feel like doing.