Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high.
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
I`m not everyone`s cup of tea ... I`d rather be someone`s shot of tequila away.
It’s almost 2015, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
When your kids become teenagers, it`s important to have a dog so someone in the house is happy to see you.
I`m tired of people assuming I`ve got a good personality because I`m ugly.
I’m totally fine with favoritism as long as I’m the favorite.
I just need someone to feed me and tell me I’m pretty.