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therapy is expensive...vodka is not. need I say more....
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
Got kicked out of the local casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesn´t constitue telling fatties they´re fatties.
Yes, milk from cows tastes nice. But to the person that first found that out...you have issues bro
I wish I could just “like” a text so I don’t have to respond.
Whenever I read: "Do not exceed recommended dose" I always think, "Challenge accepted!"
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
I havend`t heard from DAEMON MAILER in years, I hope he`s okay.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it`s what it`s.
I don’t call it laying down anymore, I call it landscape mode.
I hate when the remote is way over there