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I`ve decided to go my own way and think "inside the box" to be different ... Wow its dark in here!
Perhaps Voldemort’s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
I`m an optimist. I didn`t lose a sock in the dryer. I found an extra one!
As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
I am at the gym! Well, the parking lot. They have free wi-fi.
My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
Being normal? Ugh. I can`t imagine how awful that must be.
A fun thing to yell at a magic show is "BURN HIM, HE`S A WITCH"
Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window
`Google`` must be a woman, because it knows everything.