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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
Of course I plan to seize the day ... Eventually.
People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
i wasnt that drunk * "bro, you destroyed my mothers garden while screaming F*CK FARMVILLE!"*
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don`t: technically, you did
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.