Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
I only hate the people in front of me while checking out at the store. Everyone behind me is cool.
Always look your best, cause you never know when your family is going to surprise you with an intervention.
My sex life is like a Ferrari ... I don`t have a Ferrari
I think I`m going to run for political office, so people can dig up dirt on me. I have been wanting to piece together my twenties.
I need a new bad decision.
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.
What I’m really looking for in a friend is loyalty. And a pool. Mainly just a pool.
My reaction to stepping in dog sh!t is identical to me logging onto Facebook