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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
I talked to my mom, and she said she probably hadn`t had sex with any of you guys. Damn dirty liars.
Does anyone else have a plastic bag full of plastic bags in their house, or is it just me?
That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone and you mess up a word.
Sorry, I was not paying attention. I was thinking about having sex with you.
I`ve been on a diet for 2 weeks and all I`ve lost is 14 days.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
I wouldn`t consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.