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I`m never wrong. One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
Life is so unfair, why do we always want what we don`t have? For example, right now I want tacos
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
Get off your high horse. Seriously, it’s not safe to ride any animal that’s stoned.
500 recipes pinned to my Pinterest board. Eating a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
I haven’t lived paycheck to paycheck since my last paycheck.
Have you ever noticed that half way through the ColonialPenn insurance commercial, Alex Trebek tries to pull a Jedi-Mind-Trick on us.... "This is the insurance you are looking for." (I didn`t get enough sleep last night.)
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)