Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do I have to wake up? I just woke up yesterday.
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals
"It`s the little things in life that make you laugh," my mom used to say. I never understood it until I saw two midgets fighting at Walmart.
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
Thank God you`ve updated your status to "Finished lunch" after you first posted "Going to lunch" I really couldn`t tolerate more suspense.
The existence of the `snooze` button tells you everything you ever need to know about the human race.
If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
My idea of drinking responsibly is using a coaster.
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple `Thank you.` is all I need! Not all this `How did you get in my house?` business!