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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
Don’t tell me what to do unless you’re naked.
If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
i feel naked without my mobile !
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
So, when people say "LOLZ", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.
The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
I always put a little umbrella in my drink so it doesn`t dilute in the shower.
She caught my iphone before it hit the ground... She`s definitely my screensaver