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I love the show Gotham....OBSESSED!!! But they constantly have the Twitter hashtag #gotham in the corner of the screen, and I`m always thinking..."No I don`t have ham! But I want ham." Sometimes I miss parts of the showing thinking about the fact that I don`t have ham..... Obviously I need to have ham on the menu every Monday night. #noidontgotham
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
Iβve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
I hate it when I walk through a metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off.
There were only 3 commandments until Mosesβ wife got involved.
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
My girlfriend left me because I`m a legend ... Or to quote her, `Arrogant`.
The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
To avoid being eaten by zombies, go to Settings / Home Invasion Settings / Cannibalism / Brains, and then uncheck the "tasty" box.
If A-B-C-D didn`t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn`t have to be so rushed.
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.