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I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas.
I was all "I`m not taking any sh!t from you" and she was all "to speak to a member of our customer service team, press 1".
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
I try to live each day like it`s my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Why isn`t cat food made from birds, mice and squirrels??
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
Give a man a fish & he`ll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That`s weird" Teach a man to fish & he`ll be all "Again with the fish?"