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I wonder if angry people know about naps?
Some people have a natural talent for stupid. Others take that talent and actually ENHANCE it!
An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my GF how her day was.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
The only difference between sex and breakfast is sometimes I don`t want breakfast.
Two clowns are eating a cannibal. One turns to the other and says "I think we got this joke wrong."
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
Men ask us if we`re naked when we tell them we`re taking a bath. THAT`S why they pay more for their car insurance.
Word of advice. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks "hypothetically speaking, if I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names......ever.
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that`d be great.
Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. "Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!!