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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
I`ve got to remember to tie a string around my finger!
The only technique I`ve mastered from watching cooking shows is screaming and swearing at everyone in the kitchen.
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
Lord, if I can`t be skinny, make my friends look fat.
really vry funny
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
If you have a mirror handy, kindly gaze into it and you will find your problem
If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be "bad at following directions."
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
If there`s a bar where everybody knows your name, you`re probably an alcoholic.