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I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
I really hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
Pizza gal reads my order back to me and says,"You have one large thick sausage, anything else?" With a smirk I reply,"Yes, I`d also like to order a pizza."
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
As I slide down this bannister we call life, you, and you alone, are the splinter in my ass
What if the weather talks about us?
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
Been there, done that. Hypothetically
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-
I remembered my wedding anniversary today. It was last week.