Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If thought bubbles appeared magically above my head I would be so screwed!
It`s so hard to find obedient minions
You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He`s going to pay for that later.
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
New research reported that men enjoy snuggling. A second study showed that men will say anything to get a researcher into bed.
Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our worst table.
I am at my most hostage negotiator when I see my 3 year old with a permanent marker without a lid.
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
So I wanted to publicly apologize for not doing the ice bucket challenge for everyone that nominated me. I don`t give money to charity, unless she is on stage B at 11:30.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.