Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
“Over my dead body” doesn’t mean “no.” It means I get to do what I want and as a bonus I get to kill you.
Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
I don`t know where the saying "working like a dog" got started but I`m looking at my dogs daily routine feeling pretty jealous myself.
Who me? Oh I`m just waiting for my husband to apologize for something I did wrong...marriage is fun
Right before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days..
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
I found the key to happiness ... Stay away from a$$holes.
Don`t mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point north.
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
That awkward moment when you can’t tell if it’s a Halloween costume or their regular clothes…