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I’m shy at first, but once I’m comfortable with you get ready for some crazy sh!t.
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you`re just like, "That is you."
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
Until today, I thought American Horror Story was a book about marriage.
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
Another tragedy today in the music industry.....Justin Beiber was just found alive in his apartment. :(
Bad things happen to good people, so I`m pretty sure we`re all safe
There may be two sides to every story, but you’re still a douche in both of them.
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
Got a new blood pressure monitor, says it turns off after 6 minutes of inactivity .....
They say you are what you eat but I don’t remember eating a sexy beast.
If you can`t handle me at my worst I completely understand, because I can`t either.
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.