Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
I`m not sure it`s possible to fill a moving truck these days without the word "Tetris" being brought into the conversation.
The hardest part of having multiple kids is explaining why only your first child has a baby book.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
You find my yoga pants distracting ... would you like me to take them off?
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
When I wake up at night, I reach out to you, I love you not for what you look like, I love you for what you have inside - Me to my fridge
I went by the Gym today. Its the third time this week............. One of these day`s I might actually go in.
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.
I have an inferiority complex,,,,,, but it isn`t a very good one.