Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Girl: I am not having having s@x with guys at the moment. Boy:I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
Having children is a fantastic source of free labor.
Technology is outpacing my ability to come up with convincing lies that I didn`t get your message.
Nothing shall separate me from the love of beer...
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
Just saw someone eat a kit kat bar without breaking off each individual piece and now I can`t stop twitching.
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
I doubt my inferiority complex is as good as everyone else`s
Not to brag,,,, but legally,,, before something can be labeled "Idiot Proof",,, they have to run it by ME.