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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
The Wizard of Oz is really just a cautionary tale about the lengths a woman will go to for the right shoes.
It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
What idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles?
Only 2 phrases can change a woman’s mood: ”I Love You” and ”50% Off”.
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
Is Nudeism a religion?
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.