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The story of George Washington chopping down the cherry tree is my favorite tale of honesty, integrity, and giving a child an ax
Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
If you need help moving I am one hundred percent there for you emotionally.
Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
I learned most of what I know about dropping pianos on people from cartoons.
Cranked the treadmill up to MAX for 15 minutes. When I finally took a break my roller skates were hot to the touch.
To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
First world problems: I couldn’t hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips.
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
How many V and M can see
NNNNNMNNNNNNNVVWWWWVWWWWW
Paying a homeless man to pee on your ex`s windshield, is just about the most fun you can have with 5 bucks.
It’s not you. It’s my ears. They just make you sound so boring and dull.
I heard recently on the radio that, "If a man looks at womens breasts for 10 mins a day he will add 5 years to his life".. Can anyone confirm this?!! If so what are we waiting for?