Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries".
If a lesbian c*ckblocks another lesbian, is that considered a beaver dam?
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you.
There’s a reason why “sober” and “so bored” sound almost exactly the same.
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return monday.
Please God cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again, also please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.
The early bird gets the worm! So does the late bird. They all get worms all the time; there`s tons of those things. Relax, there will always be a lota worms......
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.