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i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
Now that I`ve maxed out my 401k for the year, I`ll get a tattoo, said no one ever.
My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.
Studies show that people with high sex drives also tend to be very forgetful. Did I tell you guys that already?
Whenever a buddy of mine wants to borrow something, I remind them that everything I own has touched my balls.
When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones? I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?
So can we just skip to summer now?
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4
There are many different ways one can save energy. I normally use the couch.
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to "like" cream cheese on Facebook?