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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
I woke up with a headache this morning but she went to work.
I honestly don’t care if you think I’m crazy. You’re just a figment of my imagination anyway.
Dr. Seuss could have been the greatest rapper ever.
I love talking about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
The easiest way for me to lose inches is to switch to the metric system.
I didn’t sell my soul to the devil….we worked out a rent-to-own deal.
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.