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Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close Enough.”
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
Dear parents of college students on Spring Break, Congrats! Many of you are about to be grandparents!
Sorry, I`m in a hurry, lets talk while we walk... You go that way.
Adding “and sh!t” to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t.
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
No matter what life brings you, always take a lesson from your dog.. Kick some grass over that s**t and move on.
I`m jealous of my parents, I`ll never have kids as cool as theirs.
If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.
If it`s the thought that counts ... Then I should probably be in jail
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either :)
I don`t care if you wear footie pj`s or sleep with a Snuggie. If you swish Listerine in your mouth for the full 30 seconds, you are BADA$$.