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If you ever Google "Grandfather Clock", be careful how you spell that sh!t.
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
I can’t wait until I get that job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t instagram their cups.
I poured some shampoo over my speakers today and they blew up... So much for EXTRA VOLUME.
Instead of going to couples therapy, married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
If you get angry, just relax, take a deep breath and count to ten, unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find `em.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart or at Taco Bell.
I wish the minutes after hitting the snooze button lasted as long as microwave minutes.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.