Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
You don`t have to drink to have fun... Just have fun drinking!
I know what I`m getting for Christmas ... Fat. I`m getting fat.
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.