Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve done a lot of things over the years ... But acting normal has never been one of them.
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
There are only two types of honest people in this world, small children and drunk people.
A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That`s pretty far-fetched.
It’s a strange moment, when you realize that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals, birds, and insects desperately trying to get laid.
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
What about a To-Don`t List?
As soon as I figure out who drank my 2 cases of beer, I`m gonna try to figure out why I`m so drunk.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Dear McDonalds cashier, Don`t give me that look, there`s no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don`t forget the toy b!tch.
If you start smacking people with your wife`s purse she won`t ask you to hold it for her anymore
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
Keep scrolling , I got nothing.
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.