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You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
The worst part about calling in for a sick day is the pressure of knowing you only have one shot to do the “I’m sick” voice.
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
If you ever get a flat tire, take a picture of it on your phone so for future reference you can use it as a valid excuse.
I know I should lift weights, but those things are heavy!!
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
Would people still go to the gym if Instagram didn`t exist?
Damn, it`s like these people have never seen anyone bring a flask to the gym before.
I feel so lazy.. Lazy as the guy who created the Japanese flag
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?