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Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.
My ex-wife once left a note on the fridge: "It`s not working. I can`t take it anymore. Gone to stay with Friends." I opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold. Not sure what she was talking about!
I don`t plan anything as well as I plan which alcoholic beverage I`m going to consume once I leave work.
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs.
I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "yeah I´m in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.