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You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
What kind of paperwork do I need to fill out to get a permit to set my children free in the wild?
If the sprayer in the sink can`t get it off and the dishwasher can`t get it off then I assume it`s just meant to be a part of the pan.
Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
Cop: do you know why I pulled you over? Me: pfft. I could think of like fifty reasons, Iām not falling for that.
Does it count as saving someone`s life if you just refrain from killing them?
Sleep is like sex, you never get enough of it and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all.
There`s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
I`m just doing what the beer tells me to.
If thought bubbles appeared over our heads, I would get punched in the face a lot more.
ROFL!!ā¦.. LOL jk iām still in my chair.
Apparently, I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
You know it`s getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you