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Trust me, you want me medicated!!
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
If you never set it, you always have the excuse, "I overslept because the alarm didn`t go off."
I`m not saying not to trust the Internet, but there is an alarming discrepancy between the number of iPads I`ve won and the number of iPads I own.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
I can buy my own sugar. What I need is an insurance daddy.
I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.