Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can make your life more entertaining by simply reaching out, and getting to know a whore.
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.
Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight… Hoping to get a PS4 in return.
Don`t apologize because you haven`t posted in a while. No one cared.
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
Facebook reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, `Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?`
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!!!!