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Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
Sorry I`m late... I accidentally pulled the chain on the ceiling fan one too many times for like 9 hours straight.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
If at first you don´t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
The mechanic asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I`m pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I`m driving"
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
How come people who think they know everything never seem to know when to shut up?
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
In heaven, the Cheez-Its are salted on both sides.
If you are the one who stole my computer yesterday, please disregard the folder labeled, "Nature photographs." Thanks.