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I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
At work hitting the escape key...... Nothing is happening, im still here.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
I recently jumped on the back of my psychologist and started counting...1...2...3 and he was so suprised asking me what I was doing and I answered offendedly: "Well you`re the one who said I could always count on you !"
Sometimes I can’t remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines…I totally get it.
life is too short to match socks
I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
Full disclosure: All my statuses with less than 3 likes were made by my intern.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane I’m making has lace on it.
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be totally impossible!