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It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
My wife said I can definitely have a man cave, if that`s what I want to start calling the hall closet.
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
There is no such thing as failure. There are only results.
I plan on being up really late tonight making voodoo dolls for, well, nevermind, you will know who you are soon enough
Porn teaches kids an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
At least I know it wasn`t just me that was wondering if the cashier was a man or a woman. I just wish that my 5 year old didn`t ask.
I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
I got Mood Poisoning. Must have been something I hate.