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is tring to fool people into thinking I have a social life by going offline from Facebook for a few hours.
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
It’s all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
"Never go to bed angry" is the worst advice ever. I haven`t slept in a week!
Today`s brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
The last breasts I touched belonged to a dead chicken.
Whenever you`re powerless, remember: A single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a restaurant.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?