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I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
I spend 95% of the time out of bed wishing I was back in bed
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
Just saw the book "Marriage for Dummies." ... Shouldn`t there be an "is" in there somewhere?
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
Going to one of those places where you chop down your own Christmas tree, and then try to get away before they catch you.
I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss.
I get a real kick out of people who drive a mile in their car to run a mile on a treadmill.
I will give you unconditional love as soon as you meet my list of demands.
Well, just 8 more hours of Facebook and I can go back to bed. *phew*
Sorry I missed your call. I was peeing and had both hands full.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
Just remember, outside of that beautiful slim bride on her wedding day there’s a fat woman just waiting to get in.
Getting told I can`t do something gives me all the motivation I need to get things done.
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.