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When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
There’s been over 30 billion messages posted on Facebook, and yet most of us have never even talked to our neighbors.
"Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
My life is the intersection between having too much caffeine and constantly yawning.
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
Yes, autocorrect, that`s right. I hate that stupid ditch
This is a lousy dating site.
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
For many people, "live and learn" is one task too many.
To whoever said “fight fire with fire”: do you actually test your own advice before giving it?