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Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
Love is when the guy who stocks the liquor knows your name.
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
Getting out of bed feels like the worst thing that’s ever happened to me ... every time it happens.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
People who say `expresso` instead of `espresso,` may I axe you to please stop? Thanx.
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
Of course I plan to seize the day ... Eventually.
I would like to be a Disney Princess...You know, where I have random animals showing up to help with the housework!
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
Do a little dance, make a little love, pay child support.
Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.