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Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
Still waiting for a "Where are they now?" episode about the Flintstones
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
They should make a medal for anyone who uses an entire tube of chapstick without losing it.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Why do prostitutes charge per hour? I mean, what are we supposed to do for the other 57 minutes?
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
Nothing says "I`m unemployed" like wishing for snow on Facebook.
A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
So who wants to tell the person who just threw a new phone book on my porch about the internet?
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.