Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pizza is my favorite winter activity
Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
My neighbors look at me in a very weird way.. it’s like they never saw a guy with binoculars before.
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. "Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you."
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, `13...13....13...13.` The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on. Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting. `14...14...14...14....
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, “Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh & eat a zebra or whatever.
My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, "Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
It`s not a real hangover until you bring a pillow into the bathroom.