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Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
If life Sucks, what makes you think death doesn`t Blow??
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
The dentist told me I need to be more aggressive when I floss so I`ve decided to start growling.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
As i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i was like what da f**k am i doin here
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
Money can`t buy happiness, but somehow it`s a lot better to cry in a Mercedes than it is to cry on a bike...
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
I`m starting to wish I were a werewolf so I`d have a better reason for waking up nude in public with no memory of how I got there.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so f**k it!