Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What if Egyptians actually had a written language, then started using emojis, and that’s all that’s left?
I would like to remind everyone it`s not the size of the boat... Or the motion of the ocean, but the whether the boat is able to stay in port until all passangers have gotten off.
Why don`t prison inmates just use liquid soap?
Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way.
Pretty considerate of germs to count all the way to five before jumping on the food we drop.
Besides tweeting during this job interview, what would you say is your biggest weakness?
When people I don’t know ask me what I do for a living I shout “Karma,” and punch them before running away.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
The bright side of getting attacked by a Cyclops is only having to use half the pepper spray.
I hate lying to kids but my daughter asked me what twerking was and I told her it was when identical twins go to each others` jobs
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
After all these years, I`m beginning to suspect that Waldo doesn`t want to be found.
Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
I self medicate, therefore you live.
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.