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I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
Sometimes I think I`m a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
It`s a good thing Taylor Swift and Adele aren`t dating. Imagine if they broke up.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!
I`m not the kind of guy to distance himself from anything... Far from it.
Good Morning! A fresh cup of hot coffee and my FB page is up, just look at that, I already achieved all my goals for the day.
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(